This was a perfect Josh day. Any day you would want to ride full bore into the wind, engines screaming, was a Josh day. Warm and sunny. That was him.

Stood in his room for a long time. Found his Ipod. I took it to his garden that he had started a few weeks ago and put it on. Never heard a lot of the music- some rap and light punk stuff. Didn't matter. Couldn't do anything- just having all that together made me have a frigging melt down.

Amazing how cold and lonely the Texas sun can feel.

This sucks.

I love you son.